End of the Band

Ok, this blog has been rather below the demands for a serious blog. From now on, the quality will improve, A lot, I promise.

Once, all spam was porn. Most people would complain about the spam but my general reaction was, Wow, free porn. I think the spam today has lost touch with reality. For a while I even used to get great ideas for my stock purchases (yes I do quite a lot) but now. I don’t know if it is my spamfilters that get the rest or if spam in general has changed but I only get russian dating mails. Don’t they know I’m married?

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The vision begins on a nuclear submarine in outside Martinque a small island in the Caribbean. The Captain of this mighty vessel is the only female in charge of a ship like this. The submarine is one of nine built, they are called Los Angeles Class. These nine submarines are the biggest underwater vessels ever built outside the Soviet Union. With its internal nuclear reactor and a life containing system that renews the environment almost perfectly it can literary stay under the surface for several human generations. Alana Flockins, the captain, is well aware of the exact size of the honor it is to be the captain of such a vessel, especially since she is the first female captain of one of them. The reason Alana became captain is not that the United States finally realized that it was time for female commanders to get a chance at running these boats. Nor is the reason that she was the most qualified captain for the job. The reason is not even that she had a lot of leverage and high up contacts that could make her get the assignment. The reason is that she stole it.

On the beach in the bay that soon will become world famous stands a man with an, for this climate, unusually warm suit. The suit is gray and the man a bit pale so the suit suits him. On top of his nose rests a pair of dark sunglasses and he is humming a tune. If someone would stand very close they might hear a Hey now or a Uhu being hummed. The reason this man, that we still don’t know the name of, is standing on this beach is that he is in charge of a practice drill that just started to take place just here. In 6 minutes 400 Navy seals will hit the beach in full power and the Bay of Pigs will change owner, again. It will not really change owner of course as this is only the practice round, the real invasion is not until Sunday.

Exactly 7 days after the practice invasion of the Bay of Pigs a man is sitting in a cathedral watching a video tape of the mentioned practice invasion. He doesn’t look very happy. What he does look though is funny due to his massive sideburns and sunglasses. He looks a bit like the King. He is of course not the King though; the King hasn’t been around for a long time. The reason that he isn’t looking happy is that the practice invasion seven days ago was a real failure and today is the day for the real one. Everything had fucked up totally, the seals hadn’t made it up on the beach, the helicopters never arrived and for some reason there was four guys beating a fat kid to death with round rocks in the background on the tape. The man from the beach with the suit doesn’t look too warm as he is standing next to the man with the sideburns even if his fingers are grabbing for a sweat stained collar. This was a fuck up and he was in charge of it. The sideburned man doesn’t seem to think of it that way at the moment, he is too focused on how to make today’s invasion go smoothly. The first thing, he decides, is that they need a whole lot more herring.

Seven days before the man watching the tape seven days after the practice invasion of the Bay of Pigs Alana Flockins is seated at the helm. She likes to sit here in the early mornings thinking of the sunrise, she can’t see it of course because they are 300 feet below. It might seem obvious that the reason they stay below all the time is that they stole the sub and are wanted for that by the authorities. The truth is that they are wanted for so much more than that. Alana Flockins, the nuclear submarine captain, is not only a mutineer and a nuclear submarine thief. The signs are obvious when you see her, her left eye got poked out years ago in a bar brawl in Boston. She lost her right hand in a horrible accident involving a gold bar and a closing bank vault door. One of her legs happened to be cut off just below the knee and is now replaced with a teak side table one. She wears a black patch to cover her missing eye and finds it very useful to have a small hook, she had made out of sterling silver, where her hand used to sit. On her right shoulder sits a bird she found flying outside the lush green coast of Brazil and not to forget on her head rests a triangular hat. You see, Alana Flockins is a Pirate.

She is sitting at the helm all alone; there is not a single person awake except Alana. Normally, on a ship this big, there are always a number of people awake but on the Armageddon, that’s not the case. There is really no reason for people to work around the clock, maybe in the navy there is but if you are not really expecting full out war, why would you need to be careful when you have nuclear capacity. Alana would never fire a nuclear missile, everyone on the Armageddon knows this and the leaders of the world probably knows too, they on the other hand can’t be sure though. That they can’t be sure is what makes it all possible, if they would be certain she will never launch they could just grab the sub. Well, they could if they have some sort of underwater grapnels a boarding dock so that they can board a ship on the bottom of the ocean. A really tricky nation might try to pinch it while they are doing some of their plundering but so far there has been only very limited plundering done. As a matter of fact the few nations that would have the capacity of doing a grab and run here are actually trying to make sure that no one tries to do just that. The United States for example, that used to own it, fears more than anything that it would end up in the hands of one of their enemies and would rather wipe it of the surface of the earth before that happens. They keep a close watch on all the other ships in the area and if any one of them would make a suspicious move the Tomahawks would start raining of the Caribbean. This keeps people pretty much in the positions they are, for good or bad.