You will probably complain about this and you will probably do so because you are a right wing American christian. But, I don’t care the least.
My Girlfriend is cheating on me and I know it. Almost every week, once or twice a week she sneaks away for “Meditation class” or “Pottery”. I know that she is really meeting this girl named Sarah. She believes I don’t know but we’ve had a relationship for years. Of course I understand whats going on. One of the reasons I know what’s going on is that this Sarah has told me. She has told me because she is my Girlfriend too. You see, there comes a time in life when Type O Negative is almost always right. My Girlfriends Girlfriend is my Girlfriend too.
You might have read in my last post about the amazing luck and the weird statistical event of almost religious standards. I got a mail from a salesman offering the exact product I was considering just then. What I were looking for was some sort of device or medicin to improve my sexuality. I wasn’t even sure such a device existed until I by sheer luck got this mail at the exact moment I thought of it.
There have been a few requests that I report at least the highlights from the following events and now is the time for that report.
When I first revieved the package I was a bit disappointed, the size of the box was not to convincing. I had been hoping for at least a few feet of a package but it was more like inches. Well, I decided that it’s not the size of the package that determines the quality of the content (even though huge size was promised in the mail). I got the package home by bike (it was delivered to the local post office) and as soon as I got gome I started opening it.
To my confusion the device inside was more or less a pump. The idea was to connect the pump to your privates and start pumping. My first thought was that the guys that sent me the pump must truly be idiots, do they really believe that my trouser snake is inflatable? When I had opened the manual it became clear to me though, the idea wasn’t to pump air into my thing but to evacuate the compartment around it. By decompressing the general area around my willie it would soon expand to a more pleasant size.
Said and done, I started doing as the manual told me to an pumped for a while before I noticed something really unexpected. This operation hurt, it actualy hurt so much I had to discontinue the procedure. For 30 minutes I just sat there with an aching prick wondering what to do. After the half our had passed I realized I had to abandon the whole idea, this was not a course of action available to me.
The girlfriends reactions then?
Well, after telling her about the pump and the work and pains I had gone through she comforted me with the idea that, ok, it’s not really huge but at least it’s red.